


Chapstick

by TheSwindler



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Artist Castiel (Supernatural), Awesome Balthazar (Supernatural), Awesome Bobby Singer, BAMF Crowley (Supernatural), Broken Families, Crack Treated Seriously, F/F, F/M, Female Castiel (Supernatural), Female Gabriel (Supernatural), Fluff and Angst, Gabriel (Supernatural) is Loki, Gen, I have no idea, Janitor Gabriel (Supernatural), Law Student Sam Winchester, Loki is a pen name, M/M, Makeup Artist Gabriel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, Minor Benny Lafitte/Samandriel, Minor Charlie Bradbury/Jo Harvelle, Other, Trans Male Samandriel (Supernatural), crowley unofficially adopts gabriel and castiel, this is kind of a, with a dash of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-17
Updated: 2018-02-17
Packaged: 2019-03-20 06:46:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13712157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSwindler/pseuds/TheSwindler
Summary: Gabriel lost her favorite chapstick and that cues for one very terribly annoying make-up artist, endless rants, and one grouchy Castiel.Cue Sam as the random stranger who finds said chapstick and Dean witnessing a possible murder comitted by a raging artist with a painbrush as weapon.Then insert Crowley unofficially taking care of Gabe and Cas, broken family, broken past, Balthy being awesome sibling, the Magic of Frendship, and Samandriel just being his usual adorable self.





	1. gabriel's breakdown

**Author's Note:**

> I have no regrets.
> 
> In other news, I watched too many make-up tutorials for the sake of getting Gabriel's job information correctly. So if you see anything false or something, don't hesitate to kick my ass. Because I have never wear make-up any more than few dabs of powder and a smudge of lip balm.
> 
> Castiel's job as an artist is based on my life living as an artist. And yes, we, artists, can be that overdramatic. Although that's just probably me. Eh.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel lost her chapstick and Castiel was a good sister.

Zeppelin was blasting through her earphones when Gabriel felt her heart stopped. She stared in horror at her bag, hands vigorously leafing through the many pockets and crumpled candy store receipts to find the thing.

She opened and re-opened her make-up purse, double-checked the front pockets, and she even dumped all of her small backpack contents over the café's table for a good measure,-which left her tampon out in the open and one man to look disgusted. Gabriel couldn't bring herself to care, maybe she'll give him a nice uppercut once she went over her current dilemma-, but no,

She still couldn't find it.

Gabriel wanted to laugh. Wanted to cry. She couldn't believe this was happening.

Gabriel Novak, a very professional and serious make-up and special effects artist, sworn candy lover and certified prankster, just _lost_ her chapstick.

It wasn't just _any_ chapstick though. You could ask Castiel for confirmation that Gabriel had near countless make-up tools and things stored all over her shared flat, which drove her sister mad. She had many chapsticks, lip glosses, etc etc. But this one chapstick was.. _different_.

It was silly and childish, but that chapstick was her _favorite chapstick_. That chapstick had been with her through many relationships, most which were only one-night stands seeing as she never really thought about actually pursuing one. And it also had been the chapstick she wore to get her job and almost every day.

It wasn't animal tested,-which meant a good thing in Gabriel and Castiel's book-, it moisted her lips nicely, had light glossy after-effect, made of honey-something, and smelled like rose. And it was soft baby pink. Not too bold and just _perfect_ for every occasion. It was like the perfect chapstick, _ever_. The soulmate Gabriel had long looking for.

And she had lost it.

Gabriel wanted to cry.

And God, she sounded so desperate. Like one of those basic bitches every stereotypical highschool had. This was getting ludicrous. Castiel would've dunked her in ice water if she knew this.

Yet Gabriel couldn't help it. She loved that chapstick. It was part of her soul, her life, her lucky charm. She couldn't've lost it. She really couldn't.

But she did. And boy, Gabriel absolutely hated it.

It was Saturday afternoon, the only time when she could actually take a real break. Away from the constant suspicious screeching of pipes in the janitor room, from the pretentious pricks of actors and actresses, and the very creepy baby hanging on the ceiling of the Broadway Theater which she worked at. It was one of the occasions when she treated herself with a good cinnamon roll for a congratulary 'nice job' pat in the back. Usually she'd look forward to it, loving it, and would take that moment to relax and drown herself in indulging sweetness.

Yet suddenly, the cinnamon roll infront of her no longer sounded,-nor smelled-, inviting to her.

Gabriel sighed. She couldn't be getting any of those this time, no matter what she'd do. So instead, she asked for a take-away, a gloomy look painted on her face clear as daylight.

Maybe her sister would like the roll instead.

______

Castiel knew something was wrong the moment Gabriel walked into their shared flat looking like her dog just got kicked,-it was a metaphor and neither had any dog. Cas felt her own pride once she realized she could use metaphors correctly now without looking like a manic hermit, thank God for tumblr-. Even more so once she spotted the paper bag baring the name of Gabriel's favorite café for her Cinnamon Roll Routine.

It was one of the many times Gabriel had a breakdown. Castiel understood why. Despite her outer cheery personality and at times _downright_ mischeviously annoying, Gabriel was, deep down, a very _sensitive_ person. Even more so than Castiel.

Long ago during their first times living together away from their family, Gabriel wouldn't even let herself cry or looking the slightest upset infront of Castiel. Only after few nights catching her sister crying and drinking sleeping pills that Castiel realized how broken Gabriel was,-as their family was-.. anyways they don't talk about it anymore-.

It shocked Castiel at first. She was so used seeing Gabriel as the big sister. The sibling who was strong and all smiles and unicorns. Castiel could barely remember seeing her cry.

So they both made a promise. One was too never hide anything from each other and two, was to _always_ have each other's backs, no matter what. It was hard, they broke, they fell, but they were getting there. A progress, slow, but surely.

Castiel had only wished their family could work like that.

Castiel went for the fridge, ignoring the tube of creams and other miscellanous things belonged to Gabriel as she picked up a tub of ice cream. She grabbed a wooden laddle on the way out,-because a spoon is too small for eating ice-creams-, then shoved the tub into Gabriel's hands.

Gabriel broke down crying. Castiel could only give her an awkward hug,-she was still working on it, _okay?_ -, as her sister began to bawl her eyes out to her shoulder, creating wet blotches on her brown trench coat.

"- _lost my chapstick_ ," Gabriel muttered in between her sobs. Castiel struggled to hear it as it was muffled by her coat.

"What?"

"The chapstick, Cassie. _The_ chapstick."

Castiel decided not to mention the over sixty-two chapsticks and lip glosses stored in one of their cabinets somewhere that all belonged to Gabriel, and that she had no idea which one she was talking about.

Instead, Castiel gave few pats on the back before handing the laddle. She grabbed her laptop and began surfing through Netflix as Gabriel sat herself on the couch, looking utterly miserable with red eyes and a runny nose as she ate ice cream from a wooden laddle.

As the opening scene played, Castiel began making a pillow nest. She disappeared into her room for few moments only to reappeared with a soft bedcover and a blanket.

Castiel settled herself beside Gabriel. She leaned her head to Gabriel's shoulder, a simple ' _I'm here_ ' sign of comfort as the screen turned black. An eerie song played and Gabriel let out a bitter laugh as she stuck the laddle into her mouth.

"' _The Ring_ '? Really, Cassie? _Very cliché_."


	2. why castiel is a hermit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas went to buy more art supplies and accidentally attempted a murder
> 
> ...or,
> 
> the real reason why Cas was a hermit.

Castiel hated people.

She didn't exactly hold personal grudge, but she just happened to hate people in general.

She didn't quite know when it started. Suddenly she deemed that she hated people and decided to retreat into ' _The Hole_ ' which was known as the gigantic blanket nest inside her closet with only her laptop and art supplies.

If it wasn't for Gabriel dragging her out of the closet,-literally-, Castiel would've spend the rest of eternity stuck in it while watching Mean Girls and Grey's Anatomy on Netflix.

It wasn't a surprise when she earned the title ' _Hermit_ '. Castiel barely even knew anything about the real world. She was always the closed off one in her family, even more so since she left them. Then Gabriel came in and on one faithful Monday, Gabriel took it upon her to stuff almost everything inside Castiel's head. From the hottest topic to the current weather and fashion styles.

Though it was impossible to understand all of pop culture within a night. So Castiel took it upon herself to start catching up with the internet whenever she had the spare time, in between doing art comissions on tumblr and her own website,-which she was guilty for creating only within six hours since Gabriel's quick-outside-world-debrief-.

The strangest time of Castiel's lifetime however, was probably the time when she finally went outside after like, five whole years,-and yes she actually _never_ went out for five years. Gabriel still questioned on how the _hell_ she managed that-. Castiel actually hissed at the sun, refused to go out of the shade, and managed to get herself and Gabriel banned from International House of Pancakes.

Long story short; Castiel was no longer allowed to go outside without tight supervision unless Gabriel deemed her no longer a hermit.

There were times when Castiel regretted ever hearing Gabriel's demand to go out, but honestly after a while, she couldn't help but becoming attached to people.

It was then Castiel figured that she didn't hate people, but she hated having interactions that involved her socializing with said people. In general. Because the truth was, she actually _liked_ watching people.

So actually, maybe going out wasn't so bad. She liked those times watching people living their lives. Laughing, sad, getting angry. They carried stories, tales that Castiel could spend hours listening too. If she ever managed to interact with them. But anyway,

Castiel cussed when she realized she ran out of gold paint. She broke off from her trance, dirty hands wiping on her already paint-stained jeans as she set down her brushes and pallette, her canvas still standing tall infront of her.

Usually, Gabriel was the one who did the outdoor chores, like taking out the trash, grocery run, or buying food other than cup noodles. Castiel would be the one who did the indoor chores, cooked, and made sure their bills paid.

But seeing Gabriel's state; dunked out of her mind and had eaten two tubs of ice cream by herself,-with the wooden laddle-, and with Castiel desperately needed to finish her painting, she knew she had no choice.

Castiel had to go out and do a grocery run.

She was really reluctant to do so. Yet as she wanted to ask Gabriel's favor, out of the corner of her eye, she could see Gabriel talking to herself. Then the older girl draped her own body over their coffée machine and began to flirt with it, an empty bottle of wine in one hand. Castiel realized that she truly had no choice.

She had to go out _alone_.

______

So far, Castiel's quest on taking the Ring to Mordor- _ahem_ , -doing grocery run had been quite.. rather... unbelievably _fortunate_.

She had only walked straight to a pole twice and tripped on her own legs atleast four times. It had been the most successful attempt of her going out in like, probably forever.

Castiel did few ninja spy tricks to avoid most pedestrians. Her training had come for this day. All those times wtaching parkour videos and Ninja Turtles in her Hole had come solely for this purpose; to avoid people in dire moments whereas Gabriel could not help either of them. She felt so cool, like James Bond who's movies had yet to be watched by her.

-though far in reality, Castiel was only trying to avoid people by wearing a full tux beneath her trench coat in attempt to look like a casual civilian, all the while hiding not-so-casually behind dumpsters and food signs. Which, only made her look like a perverted middle aged man, especially with her small chests and messy bed mane that could only be described as ' _majestic sex hair_ '-

But anyways, Castiel arrived actually in one piece at the store.

She refrained from chasing a cat,-Gabriel said it was a big no no to chase anything while in public-, and instead, made her way down the store's stationary aisle. She wasted no time as she picked up few gold paints, handful of blues,-since she wasn't going to go on a grocery run any sooner-, some purples for a good measure, and couple of blacks. Then, Castiel dashed for the cashier.

No more than seven steps, Castiel stopped. She took three steps backwards, a step forward, before relenting and let herself face the aisle beside her.

Brushes. Paint brushes. On _sale_.

Now Castiel Novak was a hermit just few years ago and had only opened her art comissions for like few years. People liked her artworks, some even asking for her to put them on display, though Castiel declined for the sake of keeping world peace. But yeah, they liked her works, she was great, she was a professional artist. Underlined. Period.

Castiel definitely would _not_ buy more paintbrushes just because they were on sale.

Plus she'd be a hypocrite. She always complained when Gabriel hoarded make-up tools, yet there she was contemplating to buy more paintbrushes,-also she hoarded boxes and twigs for no reason, but don't tell Gabriel that-, when she had more than enough in her flat.

Castiel hummed and decided to simply stare on the brushes. Just because she couldn't buy them, didn't mean she can't look at them.

They were fine brushes. Really pretty. Pointed edges with bronze clips. Castiel felt an itch in her hand. She quickly clasped it, chanting over in her head that no, she was not buying it. Nope. Nada. Nay. Nein.

But that didn't mean she couldn't touch it, right?

The temptation was too much. Castiel felt sweats started trickling down her forehead. Whispers tickled her ears, chanting, telling her to go for it. Touch it. Grab the brush-

_NonononononononnONO_

" _Begone satan_!" Castiel screeched as she tossed a handful of salt into the air, earning few looks from the people around her. One old woman scurried away, terrified, and one man stared at her with distaste while muttering ' _Fuckin' cultists_ ,'.

Thank God the shop was near empty. With shaking hands Castiel returned to her not-so-window-shopping of paintbrushes. In anger, she snatched a brush from the aisle, then glared at her own shoes while screaming in her head ' _are you happy now_?!'

-Castiel was not exactly sane in mind, _okay_? Living as a hermit for years could do a thing or two at you-

Castiel then came to realization she had done it. She had touched the brush. Grabbed it actually. She was holding the brush. Distantly, she could hear _the voice_ laughing.

Castiel broke down crying.

It was so _beautiful_. It had white handle, smooth and sturdy with soft flexible bristles. It had gold clip and matching words of its brand written in cursive; _Angel Blade_. Castiel thought it was fitting, seeing as the bristle was sharp, almost knife-like that could definitely create beautiful point edge.

She suddenly understood the whole reason why Gabriel bailed her eyes out for mere chapstick. It felt like one of those romance books or movies where the main character found the love of their love. The part of their soul, their life.

Castiel definitely did not look like a drunkard high maniac as she cradled the seven inches long paintbrush while sobbing in an art store.

"Sir? Excuse me, sir?"

" _Sir_." There had been a tap on her shoulder.

Castiel stopped her tears. She froze, in shock of the human contact other than Gabriel's after years. She panicked, eyes turned blind as she swiveled around in panic,

And accidentally elbowed the person's jaw.

Castiel might be a hermit, she might almost never left the flat, but she could throw a mean punch. Probably a Novak's quirk or something; since Gabriel was only five-foot-something but still able to carry a whole glass dining table for six by herself.

Which meant in the process of the accidental elbowing, Castiel managed to make the person flew to the nearest aisle and crashed, with a very loud bang.

There was a sudden pause. Then a scream.

Securities and employers began to run at her, yelling at her to stay and put her hands up. Something. Castiel couldn't hear them.

The person on the floor wasn't moving. Why is he not moving? Isn't he supposed to move? _Twitch_? Castiel kicked his legs. Still not moving.

There was a person pulling her arms from behind. A man likely, judging from the grunts. He locked Castiel's wrists behind her with a tight grip as another one with security uniform came infront of her,

And took her brush away.

Castiel's eyes widened. All she could hear in her mind was nononononono- they are _not_ taking her brush. Not her brush. No.

That was her brush. _Her_ brush. Underlined. Period.

Castiel growled,-actually literally _deliberately_ growled-, before she, like in one of those action movies, broke free of the security's grip.

Faster than anyone could react, Castiel whipped around and head-butted the security. The man howled, falling down while cradling his broken bleeding nose as she grabbed a fistful of the other security's uniform and did a clean uppercut to the jaw.

More screaming. Castiel swiveled her head around with wild eyes as employees struggled to maintain the other visitors and Castiel herself. One was punching numbers into her phone. Castiel didn't care.

Her brush. Where was that brush?

She crawled on the floor on all four. She didn't care. She needed to find her brush. Her _soulmate_.

Castiel found her brush pinned beneath the unconscious man's left calf. It must've rolled there. She scrambled to grab it.

Just as she held it, an employee pulled her back,-though fortunately she was able to gripped her brush tight-, and threw her to aisle full of sketchbooks. Castiel fell down with a groan, back aching.

The employee bent down to grab her trenchcoat. Castiel inclined, head spun dizzyingly as the man pinned her down to the floor without much retaliation.

Then she felt the brush being pried away from her fingers, and she snapped.

With all strength she could muster, Castiel rolled around, now pining the employee beneath her. She punched his face, once, twice. A crunch echoed from beneath her fist. Her eyes wide as she raised the brush high above the air, the sharp edge pointing at the man's neck. Then she drove it down,

And was shoved away by the owner of a pair of the greenest eyes Castiel had ever seen in her life.

"The hell's wrong with you?!"  
Castiel blinked.

" _Jane Eyre_ ," she whispered.

Painfully beautiful arched eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"What?"

Sweet sweet mother of monkey milk, this man had jaws sculpted by Michelangelo _himself_.

"They want to take my Angel Blade away."

"I'm sorry, _what_?"

"My brush." Castiel wiggled the white brush still clutched in her hand as her wrists were pinned above her head.

The man went silent. Castiel took it as a chance to inspect how such beautiful artwork could possibly came to live,-honestly Castiel wouldn't be surprised if the man said he was Michelangelo's secret piece of work that, better yet, was a collaboration with Leonardo da Vinci, that came to life by some miracle magic shit-.

" _Oh_ ," the man said. Oh indeed. He was such a beauty.

"Could you please get off from me?"

"No, why would I do that? You'd go around and try to stab people again."

Castiel frowned. She made a disapproving look that she usually gave to Gabriel whenever her sister planned something incredously stupid.

"I only fight because they are trying to take what is mine, and-," Castiel made a pointed glance at her,-nonexistent-, breasts.

"-I am a woman. It would be awkward for us to stay in this position."

"Yeah right, and I'm _Batman_." The man snorted. But then he froze when he saw the stern look Castiel sent him.

"No way- you're _fuckin' serious_? Holy fuck, man- woman- sorry." The man comically scrambled off from Castiel, which she was grateful off as she was able to breathe in once more.

"Thank you, sir," Castiel said, inspecting her wrists. They bruised slightly, but nothing she couldn't handle.

The man started yammering out. Words, sentences.., Castiel wasn't really paying attention. She was busy looking for her paints and with her brush now safe in her hand, she could finally breathe in peace.

"I'm sorry, what was that again?" She looked up, seeing the man had stopped talking.

"I'm sorry for accidentally... unintentionally ' _molesting_ ' you."

"Don't be, you did nothing. That wasn't molesting." Now where did that black paint go?

"I'm serious. Look, man- uh, you know.. umm.. I'm still sorry but uh.. you probably shouldn't go around trying to _stab_ people like that."

"Like I said, I only did that in self-defense. They are trying to take what's mine." Castiel turned towards the cashier lady, who squeaked and cowered once her eyes landed on her. Castiel then took out a small pouch with a bee pin on it.

"How much are these?" She pointed to all the paints and the brush.

The cashier lady bagged them all in a record speed before yammering out,

"Twen-twenty dollars. It's fre-free you can go, _just go_ please and-and _don't_ come back!"

And that was the story of how Castiel ended up sitting by the road, a paper bag of art supplies in one hand, Angel Blade in the other, with the gorgeous work of art man standing beside her.

"I'm sorry."  
The man stared at her.

" _Huh_?"

"It seemed I made your grocery run cutted short."

"Oh _that_. Nah, it's no biggie. I just happened to pass by and saw the chaos ordeal goin' on. Gotta help, ya know." Castiel watched as the man smiled sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck while showing off those-.. _God_ are those _freckles_?

So a work of art with even more beautiful heart. God, how did this man even exist in real life.

Castiel took a deep breath and exhaled, twirling Angel Blade in one hand as she stared at the vehicles and pedestrians passing by. The man sent her a look.

"What's wrong?"

"I said nothing."

"Yeah, but you're pulling a face."

"I pulled nothing."

"Just tell me."

Castiel sighed.  
"Gabriel is going to kill me for getting banned, _again_."

Silence hung upon them then. The man didn't bother to ask Castiel who Gabriel was, or adding anything up on that, nor questioned why Castiel said ' _again_ '. In her spare, Castiel fiddled her brand new brush. She'd have to walk home, but the fight was tiring and uneventful, and she really didn't think she could do anymore ninja-ing-

The man cleared his throat.

"So uh, do you want a _ride_?"


	3. inwhich gabriel meets jesus and a giant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gabriel has a conversation with 'Jesus' as she does His make-up and meets a half-giant all at the same day. Wow.

Despite having a mental breakdown two hours ago, Gabriel decided that enough was enough. And that she really shouldn't eat more than two tubs of ice cream a day. So with the mighty power of will, she swung herself off from the couch and washed her face. Readying herself for her second work.

It was more of a free-lance work, really. One that Gabriel liked too much. With a promise of another and the last tub of ice cream after she returned, and the magic of foundation and light framing, she managed to look like an actual decent person before going off to public.

And if there was anything weirder than working as a make-up artist in a church's theater, it was the fact that Gabriel was filling _Jesus'_ eyebrows.

For a catholic church, the community was pretty chill. Mostly ran by teenagers who had wild yet creative ideas such as having bibliodramas every once in a while; and apparently this week they were having the scene where Jesus fed five thousand people with five breads and two fishes.

Jesus was played by a young latino-polynesian girl who had wild curls and dark skin. She looked very _'Jesus'_ -like that Gabriel had only need to fill her eyebrows and drew beard to made her resemble the well-known Messiah.

The one who played Peter was also a girl. She was chinese with skoliosis problem, so it took Gabriel good twenty minutes to find larger white toga to cover her waist-backbone braces. A little tone for her cheekbones and soft goatee and _voilà_ ; Saint Peter, everyone.

Then there was Saint Matthew who carried a calculator; because you know he counted stuffs therefore carried a calc, and then there was _Gordon Ramsay wannabe_ , an _Uber driver_ , and _Masha_ from _Masha and the Bear_.

Don't even ask.

"Do you reckon I should just swish it around or point it at the box?" Jesus- _Tessa_ asked, twirling her wooden staff as she stared at Hayley a.k.a Peter.

Gabriel paused from putting on wrinkles on Gordon Ramsay 2.0.

"Why is your staff covered in _glitter_?"

Tessa and Hayley stared at eachother before shrugging.

"You need to know that this is not a serious drama."

"This is a soap opera."

"Brought to you by girls."

"Also d'you know that we actually have no script, like, _at all_?"

"That and the fact that we previously planned we're going to wear _heels_."

Gabriel frowned.

" _Jesus wears heels_?"  
Even as she voiced it, the sentence sounded so unreal.

"But we ended up going barefoot because, you know, more efficient and less troublesome."

Well that was upsetting. Gabriel would _pay_ to see Jesus in hot pink high heels.

"We're using pancakes as the bread, though."

"Dibs on the blueberry one."

"Whoa _whoa_ ," Gabriel pointed a brush towards Matthew- err, Leah.

"I did the hard work so I'm the one calling dibs on the pancakes."

"Do not worry, _Gabriel_ ,"  
a hand placed on her shoulder.

"I will make sure you'll have your share."

Gabriel blinked. Twice before shuddering and leaping away from Tessa.

Holy shit that was like a _real_ Jesus, _wow_ , the semblance was really uncanny.

"That's creepy, don't do that."

Tessa shrugged. Though the edge of her lips was slowly quirking upwards as she turned away to put on her red sash.

Jerk.

"By the way, the fish we're using is salted so it's going to stink a lot. D'you reckon someone should carry a napkin?"

Small Queenie raised her hands from the corner as she was putting on her Masha costume.

"I'll carry tissues."

"That's troublesome," Hayley snorted.

"We could just wipe our hands on the-"

" _Don't mess with the dress_!" Gabriel yelled right before Hayley could finish her words, finger pointing, with the other hand ready to throw a heavy tub of foundation ontop of the teenager's head incase she said anything stupid.

"Sorry."

Tessa struck her staff to the ground twice, gaining attention. She coughed, stroking her faux beard before speaking,

"You guys remember the play like three years ago when I play David? The fight scene with Goliath was weird as shit."

______

"Gordon Ramsay! _Come_! I hath summoned you!" Jesus- Tessa yelled, arms raised with the glittery staff.

Gabriel admitted the props were amazing. Although the thunder noises in the background were a bit too much.

Gordon Ramsay 2.0 went in the stage with a perfect carthwheel. He looked confused for a moment, looking back and forth before his eyes landed on Tess- Jesus.

"Who are you?"

"I am thou but _stronger_."  
Then Jesus made a shooing motion.

"Go with Matthew and Masha and cook these five pancakes and two fishsticks for those five thousand people!"

"My Lord, art thou sure? I am no good cooker," Matthew asked, hands clasping to his chest.

"Matthew, count with your amazing _compartment_ and tell me your prediction of the outcome!"  
Calculator. He meant the calculator.

"My calculations said the chances of a postive resulsts are; 0.00000000005%," Matthew's eyes went wide as he panicked.

"This is _horrible_!"

"Matthew! Have faith in I, not in numbers!"  
Gabriel watched as Jesus gave Matthew a handshake complete with a fist and a hip bump.

"Now go and help Gordon Ramsay! I bestow upon thee!"

______

"Peter, my dear, we must be pure as a dove, yet as cunning as do a snake!"

"I see so!"

Gabriel tossed another handful of popcorns into her mouth as she watched the play from backstage. Because honestly, these bibliodramas were the only plays she'd regret to ever missed watching.

"Yes indeed! Peter! Avast! Call for," Tessa leant down to the audience, her eyes looking above for a dramatic effect.

"-the _Uber Driver_!"

Saint Peter immediately whipped out an IPhone from beneath his robe.

"Hello this is Uber!"

"Yes, I know this is Uber, that's why I called you!"

"Oh yes! I see, sir! Can I help you?"

Hayley looked up from the phone and stared at the audience with an absolutely done bitch-face much like a copy of _The Camera Stare_ from _The Office_.

Gabriel clapped silently in respect.

"Yes, bring thy great bosom here at once _or so help me_!" With that, Saint Peter ended the call with the Uber Driver.

Not too long Fergie came, skipping around as she mimicked riding a horse, or a donkey, or a hybrid of sorts. She went around Jesus and Peter once before stopping and saluting.

"I need thy power to deliver these food to those people waiting at the back! There were too many for us to deliver on our own, you see!"

"I see, I see!"

"Nay, you _don't_. You are wearing your helmet the other way around."

The Uber Driver fixed his helmet then smiled.

"I shall go right now, posthaste!"

Gabriel popped in another corn as the he watched the Uber Driver tripped and fell.

______

Gabriel could've sworn Tessa drugged the pancakes or something.

Because in all honesty, in all given fucks, there is just no way that she was staring at her own sister, Castiel, who was supposedly at home tuckered out in her bedroom, _inside_ a running car just two seconds ago.

Gabriel stared at her near empty cheap plastic plate, praised her own ability to eat on twenty stacks of pancakes within ten seconds flat, before straight out sprinting across the streets.

Hey, a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do.

Well she did nearly got ran over a car but not to worry about that because-

What the _fuck_.

" _Pick up pick up pick up_ -" Gabriel chanted as she narrowly dodged a passing car. Angry honks came from her back as she pressed the speed-dial button on her phone.

Castiel picked up by the seventh ring.

"Hello, Gab-"

"Where the _hell_ are you?!" Gabriel screamed at the top of her lungs at her phone.

"...I'm inside _Dean's_ car."

Okay, so Castiel is definitely in that car and outside and not in her room; confirmed.

"Who the fuck is _Bean_?!"

"It's _Dean_."

"Dean. Bean. Whatever, _why_ the fuck they rhymed?!"

"I... don't know?"

"No scratch that; where are you going?!"

"Back home."

"I'm not in the apartment, you doofus."

"..Oh."

"Yeah! Oh! Great job, I even left behind my bag, thank you very much."

"You're.. welcome?"

" _Sarcasm_ , Cassie. Sarcasm."

"I see."

"No, you don't."

Now it was either keep running for Castiel or going back for his bag. Both seemed like a good idea. One was because she still had no fucking clue who was this 'Dean' what the fuck he wanted from her innocent sister. Two was because she honestly couldn't bear to leave anything behind anymore since the lost of her chapstick.

Shit, what if Fergie found her IHOP giftcards.

It was one of the many moments where Gabriel wished there were two of her. Or she could torn herself apart and stayed alive while also not being counted as weird when the two halves of her body roamed the city.

A bit morbid, but honestly it sounded so fun.

So putting her right foot to the side, she abruptly skidded to halt, nearly being hit by a Toyota if she didn't quickly clambered up the bumper before sliding to the side.

Gabriel ran back for her bag. Practically crashing onto couple of people and Tessa. She fished her bag from the locker, slammed it shut, then parkoured her way out of the building. She did a front-flip and couple of side-flips to avoid hitting more people. Which might earned few strange stares but _eh_ , it wasn't like she was normal anyway.

When she was back to the streets, Gabriel wove in through the pedestrian crowds. Saying ' _excuse me_ 's and ' _pardon me_ 's all along the way. She was near, so very near to the main street when someone crashed onto her.

Gabriel nearly toppled over if she didn't held onto a lamp post nearby.

She eyed the stranger, the man,- _or woman_? Dunno, they got long luscious hair tho-, who was basically a half-giant. Descendant of a giant. Maybe. Because _holy shit_ they're _huge_.

"Fuck, I'm so sorry I was in a hurry and I didn't see you-" Gabriel rambled as the person groaned, rubbing their abdomen which no doubt was where they hit each other so hard. Literally.

"No no, it's okay I didn't see you either."  
Well damn, if that just ain't the most luscious voice Gabriel ever heard combined with that gorgeous hair.

Wait no, focus.

"I am so sorry, I'll buy you Starbucks or something but I'm kinda in a hurry-," as she said those words, Gabriel fished out handful of dollars from the pocket of her green jacket. She paused, contemplating, before adding up a cherry lollipop.

"-here, take this-,"

"No no no, _please_ , I'm fin-"

But he didn't get to finish his words as Gabriel had sprinted into the main road.

She yelled a last ' _sorry_ ' before eturning to the hundreds of cars zooming past. Gabriel squared her shoulders, hunched her legs, her breathes coming in and out in controlled exercise.

Then, she ran.

She head for the car she was aiming for. A white nissan. Iddly, someone at her back yelled at her to stop as people gasped. Gabriel didn't care.

She lunged for the bumper and climbed onto the roof of the car. She didn't spare another second as she leapt to another car roof, minding her steps. It all came all so naturally.

The cars were moving. She'd be dead if she fell. She couldn't afford to second guess herself as she lunged from car to car, barely sparing a second to breathe.

Finally, _finally_ , after what seemed like forever, her apartement came to view. Not too far, she could see the car Cassie was in.

She jumped to the sidewalk and landed in a roll. People gasped and cried out, speaking in hushed whisper as Gabriel stood up. Her legs felt jelly and she felt like she could fall at any given moment.

She broke into a sprint. This time hands waving, crying out for the car.

Cassie didn't see her. Just as she feared. Her sister was probably caught up in her Candy Crush game. That dork, nowadays people played Arena of Valor or League of Legends.

So Gabriel did the most rational thing she could do; stood infront of the car.

The vintage car screeched to halt. Gabriel felt a combination of exhaustion and exhilaration. She stopped the car like Carrie, one hand outstretched. It was insane and she could've get hit for all she knew but _fuck_ , that was awesome.

She definitely _won't_ do it again at some other time.

The man,-presumably Dean-, yelled out a ' _what the fuck!_ ' at her just as Castiel popped her head out of the window.

"Hello, Gabriel."

"Hello my ass, you _dick_!" Gabriel yelled, ignoring the fact they were.. kind of in the middle of the street. People were honking and pedestrians whispered. Some took out their cells and started recording.

"Why didn't you tell me you went out!"

"You are passed out in the couch, Gabriel."

"That was _three_ hours ago!" Then Gabriel's eyes widened in horror, realzing what chaos Castiel could wrought upon the city dyring those three hours.

"What did you do."

Castiel didn't say anything. Merely looking at the sleeves of her coat. Gabriel, ignoring Dean's questions and cusses, put her hand on her forehead as she looked down and groaned.

"We're _so_ fucking screwed."


End file.
